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[sticky post] Facts??? I think not . . . Jun. 6th, 2015 @ 04:36 pm
Brought to you by wrong answers guessed by random trivia players.
Started on Saturday, June 6, 2015 . . .

  1. Saudi Arabia is the world's tallest land mammal.
  2. Greece is located in the continent of Spain.
  3. Fresh kale is blue.
  4. Kevi Vacon is the name of an actor.
  5. Winnie the Pooh lives in Shermon woods.
  6. Oslo is the capital of Switzerland.
  7. The term for the distance light travels in one year is revolution.
  8. Crimson is a shade of blue.
  9. A rat is an insect.
  10. A comet is a children's outdoor toy attached to a string.
  11. There was a king of England named Henry Visio.
  12. Andrew Carnegie made his fortune in the opera industry.
  13. The original color of Yoshi from the Super Mario Bros. series of games is purple.
  14. Spiderman is a Disney villain.
  15. Bilbo Baggins is a character in Harry Potter.
  16. In the American English dictionary, the letter Z comes before the letter W.
  17. Roosters are used in equestrian sports.
  18. The country of South Africa is on the continent of Europe.
  19. St. John was the first pope.
  20. People who support football teams are known as both air conditioners and ventilators.
  21. A sundial is a type of clock that wakes people up.
  22. There is a Disney movie called Snow White and the 7 Clowns.
  23. In the medical field, gestation means both farting and digestion.
  24. Roses produce saffron.
  25. There is a saying that goes, "An apple a day keeps the disease away."
  26. A cube has eight faces.
  27. Carbon dioxide smells like rotten eggs.
  28. A seagull is a type of fish.
  29. The wisemen brought baby Jesus gifts of gold, silver, and pottery.
  30. Mother Goose wrote The Cat in the Hat.

Brought to you by wrong answers guessed by random trivia players.

Too much, too much, too much!!!! Nov. 22nd, 2016 @ 10:11 pm
Well, keeping November BUSY has certainly happened, although having it busy AND missing my parents still . . . not exactly what I wanted. All this junk just makes me miss them even more. My Daddy would help me with things with vehicles and my Mama, well, when she was okay, she gave comfort. I can't really say she truly gave much comfort after Briana came back from TLU. She wasn't doing especially well even when Briana tried going there, but she was okay.

Anyway, for me, I have to find a mechanic in Lake Charles that works on Mercedes Benz. I thought things would be okay because I had taken the car to Walmart to have the battery checked and they said it was okay. I knew I needed to get it to a mechanic, but I thought it would be okay for a bit.

However, after trying to start it tonight when Briana and I wanted to go out to just do a bit of something in order to get out of the house and allow Radar to work as she gets hyper if she doesn't work, the car didn't start. I mean, it didn't even rev. A bunch of warning lights came on and then went off.

I've also got to get a junked receipt for the Cobalt. I didn't know about needing to do that because I thought it had been reported to be junked once I gave them the title for them to possess it. However, now Louisiana thinks I have a car that I don't have and that I don't have insurance on it. Of course, I have insurance on the Mercedes.

There's all this and then there are still all the hospital bills that Briana should NOT have to pay because they are not her fault, nor even just her body. They are all because of other people who didn't take responsibility for what they did.

I'm not thrilled with all of this, obviously.

Electoral College . . . yeah, I say it is outdated. Nov. 10th, 2016 @ 08:49 pm
The electoral college was created when people weren't educated enough to understand issues. They NEEDED people that understood these things. These days, people are educated.

I don't care how many people tell me that the electoral college works. It doesn't represent the people. There is the fact that they can change the vote from how they are told to vote with paying a fee. However, they usually vote how they are tod to vote and that's fine, but it isn't representing the people. Don't try to tell me I don't know what I am saying. I know EXACTLY what I am saying. Don't explain to me "how it works." I read about that and I understand it enough to know that the people are NOT represented by what they do.

Say there is a class of 24 people. The class is divided by last names. Last names that begin A-M are Area 1 and last names that begin N-Z are Area 2. It ends up that there are 18 people in Area 1 and 6 people in Area 2. Then, there's "electors" chosen from another small class of 6. Area 1 gets 4 electors and Area 2 gets 2 electors due to "population" size.

To make this not really political, they are voting on if they should have ice cream or cheesecake for a class treat they have earned.

10 people from Area 1 vote for Ice Cream, but 8 people from Area 1 vote for Cheesecake.

All of Area 2 votes for Cheesecake.

Area 1 has electors that are told to vote Ice Cream.

Area 2 has electors that are told to vote Cheesecake.

Because Area 1 has 4 electors, there are 4 votes for Ice Cream.

Because Area 2 has 2 electors, there are 2 votes for Cheesecake.

Since they are using electors, Ice Cream wins.

However, Ice Cream got 10 popular votes and Cheesecake got 14 popular votes.

Cheesecake won the popular vote and the majority of the class probably feels like their votes didn't count.

Even local elections are disappointing . . . Nov. 10th, 2016 @ 01:52 am
I don't remember everything about the Amendments and Propositions . . . maybe two were results of the opposite of what I voted. However, I am extremely disappointed with people because the one person that I was DEFINITELY supporting for the position that she wanted was running for a non-partisan position.

Public Service Commission is just to keep our bills down! Anybody who holds that position has to do that job! It's not something that they can change. That's THE JOB no matter what. If a person knows how to do it, that person knows how to do it.

Well, the person I was supporting ran as a Democrat. She was the first to qualify. She was the first to put in a bid. She was the first one out there. She was doing things in communities before the other candidates had anybody running.

So, of course, JUST BECAUSE she ran as a Democrat (I'm pretty sure), she wasn't elected. Well, okay, a female and a democrat. That's awful. It is SO VERY AWFUL.

This stupid election . . . and the results . . . Nov. 9th, 2016 @ 10:50 pm
I'm sick . . . I honestly hoped our country would do better. I was hoping more people would vote for a third party candidate (even if I didn't really LIKE that candidate) than would for Trump so either Hillary Clinton or a third party candidate would get elected. Now we have to deal with Trump!

I'm sick of people saying how he will bring back Christian values to the United States! He won't!

God is love. Love is not hating people based on race or ability or sex or sexual orientation. That is NOT love. That is NOT Christian.

Trumps has openly said that he does NOT need Jesus' forgiveness, so he doesn't even KNOW what Christianity is about!

I'm sad that Bernie Sanders didn't win the democratic primary. I've been sad about that. I really liked him and his values and what he said he would do, well the majority of it. I don't remember everything, but he was great.

Now, I am truly scared.

I'm not some 1940s or 1950s housewife married (and if I were, it would have to be to a fully abled white husband) with at least one child or one on the way - who either has a little "at home" job or a husband with a great job that provides healthcare.

To me, Trump's America seems like he wants EVERY household to look like the Cleaver's house from Leave It to Beaver.

Makes me sick. And scared. And I just want to cry at times.

Oxycodone withdrawal REALLY SUCKS. Oct. 28th, 2016 @ 12:39 am
I had been thinking what was happening was from the anesthesia because at first, that's what I found when people were writing about gall bladder removal. However, I thought, "wait a minute, I was on oxycodone, so I should check about that. That gave me ALL the symptoms that experienced and am still experiencing.

Then on Wednesday night, I ended up talking to somebody who works in the medical field and she knew EXACTLY what I am going through. She could ask me the symptoms and I'd agree immediately.

Why don't doctors tell you these things? Oxycodone withdrawal happens in phases. They call it two phases, but the second "phase" can take six months to a year to be gone!!! (Sometimes the first is divided into two phases with the second lasting up to a month and then the second phase being called a third phase that is long-term).

The first phase is the obvious that lasts one to two weeks. There's the sweating, the DTs (I learned they are VERY real), nightmares that aren't quite as bad (but are still there), huge crying spells, lack of concentration, upset stomach and/or abdominal cramps, bad anxiety, and there can be more . . .

These will wear off, BUT for six months to a year afterwards, there's still random crying spells, being overly sensitive about things (for me, it's my parents . . . I'm usually fine with other people talking about their parents and posting about them, but as of right now, I get all weird and sensitive about not having mine on this earth; there's also major sensitivity about end-of-life . . . either really or preparing or even the possibility), worry/anxiety about hurting others/other living things, and may have other emotional (perhaps behavioral) issues. Oh, yeah, it can also cause sleepiness and insomnia. (What fun).

I randomly feel like myself and then don't and then do. There's no certain "times" that this happens. It's not a time of day, it's not after I've been awake for so many hours. It is random and not fun. The random crying is not fun, either.

Advice is to keep my mind busy and to keep busy, so I try to do that. Also, to get sleep because that helps. I feel the most normal when I finally get all settled into bed and when I first wake (but after a bit, these weird symptoms set in).

I NEVER want to take Oxycodone again - nor do I want to take any of the related drugs such as Oxycontin, Percocet, or quite a few others I read that have it. Tylenol3, please! I know I can handle Tylenol!

Previous entries . . . Oct. 28th, 2016 @ 12:19 am
It's totally pathetic that the previous entries only goes back one page of entries now. I used to constantly go back to see if I wanted to read things.

Blech . . . Oct. 12th, 2016 @ 09:07 pm
Can't say much about today other than the post-op stuff was acting up more. It's definitely not as bad as it was at very first, but along with tears, anxiety was getting to me.

Also, good lunch of lasagna and garlic bread at the Wesley and good brownies!

Sick and tired of being sick and tired Oct. 7th, 2016 @ 09:19 pm
I truly know what people mean when they say they are sick and tired of being sick and tired.

I am tired of the random crying and random anxiety. At this very moment, I'm feeling okay. However, I never know when I'll suddenly break down crying. The crying then seems to seek a reason to be sad.

It seems to go to target on my Mama. I know I didn't get to grieve properly with everything even though I did grieve. Of course, I couldn't grieve missing my real Mama when she was alive because I always had to be strong to take care of her as much as I could. That always sucked.

When I say that nobody helped with her, that is not an exaggeration. People would come to help me do some things, but seriously, NOBODY helped with her.

Her doctors didn't listen to me. They NEVER listened to me. My Mama never listened to me. The only times she seemed to be lucid were when she told me to get an education and when she knew she didn't want medical treatment.

From the time I was little, she told me that she NEVER wanted to be on life support. She even said that she didn't want to be on IV liquids if she wasn't conscious.

Even though she had told me that year after year and I knew it, I still had to tell the doctor to remove the IV. I still cry at that memory. I know that I didn't kill her. However, it still feels horrible.

I was doing fine before Briana got hit in that hit and run. That started a whole month of going crazy. I can't stand being alone for too long. I HATE being alone at night. I might be okay with ONE night IF I know the person (usually Briana) is okay. But, she was gone for a whole month and then when I am expecting her to be able to come home, I have to go into the hospital and need my gallbladder removed.

Most of that was okay, although I HATED the way I felt after waking up from the anesthesia. I had been under general anesthesia before, but they had used gas both times I had been under. This time, it was only stuff they put in through the IV.

Now, Briana also gives me new information saying that our Mama said she would kill me and then kill herself. Briana said that our Mama tried to get her on board with the plan.

I know I'm definitely safe now (obviously). However, the new information doesn't make me feel any better about things.

I really would like to feel like myself again.

Sure, I had some random anxiety before, but it was with when things felt bad like being in a jail cell again - a darkness or an atmosphere that would come and go.

Now, sometimes, it comes up just randomly and it makes no sense.

I've read people's stories that this happens after going under general anesthesia and having internal operations. I see most say that it lasts about six months and I am not liking that. I don't know if they mean it lasts six months from the operation or after taking terrible drugs.

They had me on oxycodone for pain and when I was awake, it was, "okay." I was numb and I couldn't concentrate on things. However, it would give me TERRIBLE nightmares. I started having really bad dreams where my Mama would be yelling at me and so upset with me.

I've not had any good dreams or visions with her since and that doesn't help. So, I pray that good dreams or visions with her happen soon. I had one at one point and she was with my Daddy and with Marbles. Woofles was alive at the time. I had even asked where Cinder was and I was "told" that she was with Grandma and Grandpa and this made sense to me.

I also have a very sore, what was determined to be muscle, under my right rib. Muscle pain is only what makes sense to me, too. It can feel better is some positions and worse in others. It can get sore when I do activities. I can't seem to do my favorite exercise of crunches because my muscle (I sure hope) get sore.

What I really desire is to feel like myself again.

Having a hard time today . . . Aug. 23rd, 2016 @ 10:34 am
Today was not easy at all. I woke up feeling incredibly guilty and crying. I didn't have my Mama's forgiveness directly, and I've not felt anything from her in dreams other than criticism. I tried my best to get her the care that she needed. I really wanted her to get better because I wanted my real Mama back. I would've loved to have the real her back. I hadn't seen that since elementary school . . . except sometimes the real her shined through. She hid her real self many times when out in public. This time of year can be so hard for me. From June to September . . . it's not a good time of year for me at all. Then Mothers' Day and Fathers' Day aren't easy, either. April can be difficult because that is when Daddy passed away, but I don't seem to have AS DIFFICULT a time with his passing . . .I don't know why. But, I feel guilty that I couldn't be with Mama as much as I would've liked. I feel guilty that I couldn' bring Niblet to see her as much as I would've liked (although the nursing home wouldn't let her have him and he was scared of her). I feel guilty that I couldn't get her into the nursing home where she wanted to be. I feel guilty about the PEG tube, although I did get my objective out of talking to her about the second time and tried to talk her into getting an NG tube (and she wouldn't even agree to that).

Post-op depression and anxiety Aug. 17th, 2016 @ 04:42 pm
Post-operation depression is not fun. It also comes with post-operational anxiety. I don't like any of this. The anxiety is not like the anxiety that I had while on the Losartan. It was way worse and I didn't want Briana to leave me AT ALL when I was on that. The thought of how that made me feel still scares me and the memory makes me cry.

It turns out that this post-operation depression and anxiety is normal. Sometimes I'll just start crying over nothing and then it'll take on a form of something to be sad about (and I can't control what it is). Sometimes I don't even have any reason to be crying other than my body just makes me cry.

The anxiety is not good, either. With it, there is an almost constant lump in my throat. I worry that I'll do something stupid, but I don't want to do anything stupid. I have these "what if" thoughts. They are so stupid and I hate them. If I were feeling completely like myself, I'd not have these at all. I'd not think about stupid stuff like this - like what if my throat was slit or I was choked. It may be by me or by others. Thoughts of "What if my sister found me . . ." in some horrible condition like that.

I can say that sleep is good because once I get to sleep, I don't have those thoughts. Honestly, when I wake and am just down in bed and relaxing, I feel normal and don't have those thoughts. However, when I sit up and start doing stuff for the day, then the feelings of depression and anxiety come back.

I scare myself because of these feelings.

I'm glad that I have found they are common after surgery. I hate how they make me feel and while I am not suicidal at all, I keep reminding myself I have every reason to live and reminding myself of all the things that I want to accomplish. It is so strange because I have no desire to hurt myself or anybody or anything else.

I wish doctors and nurses would warn you of these things.

Stupid Pharmacist!!! Jul. 24th, 2016 @ 06:18 pm
When I was dismissed from the hospital, I was given prescriptions of Oxycodone, Losartan, and Iron Sulfate. At first, I thought how great the Oxycodone was because of the pain relief, but it's horrible. It gave me nightmares. I couldn't concentrate on anything. The only times I truly felt okay were when I was asleep. Being that the Oxycodone made me not able to concentrate much, I couldn't tell if the Losartan was doing anything or not.

Anyway, I stopped the Oxycodone and continued the Losartan for a bit. However, always around the time I took it, I would get extremely anxious and I'd not want Briana to leave me AT ALL. She was nice about it knowing that I was on these meds and would stay in my room with me. One time, she even tried sleeping in my room a bit, but her doggies didn't want her to stay in my room, so she ended up going to bed.

Anyway, the feeling was getting really bad. I could barely think of words to describe the feeling and that isn't good for me at all! I like to read, write, and learn! If I cant' have words, I can't do that!

I finally came up with words to describe my feelings. I could actually place them even more today because I've not taken any Losartan. I told Briana now if you can imagine something like the sound of a buzz saw or a table saw (and if you don't know that, imagine the sound of an appliance that buzzes, but intensify it in your imagination), then keep the FEELING that comes with the intense buzzing, but there is no more sound, then REVERSE it so that it is coming from the inside of your head to almost all the way around it . . . like up to your ears or eyes and behind the head . . . THAT'S THE FEELING.

I called the Walgreens pharmacy and told the pharmacist that the Losaratan was giving me bad anxiety. The pharmacist was not good saying that, "It's not a side effect." Anxiety is listed as a side effect with a major severity! I don't know the pharmacist that was in at that time, but I don't like that one!

There are still times that I want to cry, but that's just normal sadness and silly and cute things make me smile and laugh and I'll pop out of that. There are just sad things that cross my mind and those make me want to cry. Or, there are sad things that I see.

I feel bad if for my Mama if she had that feeling that I did for a long time. I can understand her wanting her hair cut because it did feel like it was all in my hair, but thankfully somewhere in my mind I knew better.

I never understood what she meant because she wouldn't explain how she felt. She would just wave her hands in kind of circles around the side of her head and say that was how she was feeling. I found that I was wanting to do that, too. I had always told myself that I don't want to end up like her, addicted to medications. I won't take those antidepressants. I'll talk. I'll cry.

I knew I had to stop taking the Losartan when that was happening and I've definitely felt like myself. I've just wanted to cry at times afterwards. It hasn't been because of anxiety or being depressed. I just need time and prayers. This whole thing with Briana and then my gall bladder have my emotions all mixed up.

Hopefully, now, all this with my Mama will be gone for good now, too. I'll always love her and I now I think I understand how she felt when she did that strange motion with her hands near her head. Hopefully all the worry will be gone. Things need to be good for a few years and so far, I've not had a run of good years since my Daddy passed away. Well, even before that . . . starting with little Micron.

March 2008 - Micron passes away
April 2008 - Daddy passes away
December 2008 - Marbles passes away
September 2012 - Mama passes away
March 2014 - I'm arrested by sheriff's coming to my HOUSE. They don't put my into intake and the throw me in a dark cell to where I am all alone. And I'm terrible scared and want to be back with my sister and Niblet, Woofles, and Krueger
August 2014 - Woofles passes away
May 2016 - I'm scared that Briana could have died and then I'm still left alone for a month (and I HATE being alone . . . I NEED people around!)
June 2016 - My gallbladder is removed

Where are my good years that I am supposed to get to ENJOY as a young adult? I certainly have not had any of them for YEARS. I've not even written about all the trials Briana and I had taking care of our parents even earlier than that.

Minus a body part . . . Jun. 21st, 2016 @ 12:16 pm
I am now without a gall bladder. Early Thursday morning, I had this sharp pain under my right rib. I had spams that felt like hiccups, but I wasn't hiccuping. Being that we don't have any taxi companies that run in the middle of the night, I went to Urgent Care when it opened. They told me to go to the ER. A friend brought me to the ER at Lake Charles Memorial and helped me get all checked into the ER. I was admitted to the hospital.

I was diagnosed with gall stones and one obstructing the bile duct. The spasms must have been the stone trying to pass because they eventually stopped and then I just had the pain without the spasms.

So, I was admitted to have my gall bladder removed.

I was on an all clear liquid diet from Friday through my surgery on Monday. All clear liquids diets are not very nutritious and, well, a good way to "cleanse" the inside of your body, I guess.

After my surgery, my lunch was a liquid diet. With what they said that I am supposed to eat, I was surprised that the lunch was basically all dairy! I had cream of potato soup and ice cream!

By dinner, I was allowed to eat solid foods. Whatever they served was gross. I don't know if it was "Cajun rice" or if they forgot to give me my turkey with my stuffing.

This morning, they gave me bacon, eggs, and a roll along with some orange juice. I liked that.

Lunch was a fried pork chop (which wasn't great, but it was okay, and I couldn't finish it) and some mashed potatoes (which were too spicy), and then pudding for dessert.

I get to go home today. I have prescriptions that I need to get. That should not be a big deal.

I am thankful to be rid of the pain and glad it was not something more severe.

It's not been the most fun journey, but all of the staff have been nice and that made the hospital stay much better.

Very important update!!! May. 29th, 2016 @ 01:57 pm
I've not updated here, and I need to update. If you pray, please pray for Briana's healing! (Also, please pray that I can handle life while all of this is happening).

On Wednesday night, Briana was the victim of a hit and run. Nobody stopped at all. Not the person that hit her. Not anybody that might have been around (if there was anybody). I wasn't there, so I don't know. The only thing she had told me was that she was taking her dogs to go out to the bathroom, so don't ask me what she was doing on Ryan St. However, from the two places that she said she thought she was, both of those have traffic lights, so it sounds like she was being safe and the car ran the light!

She is up in Memorial hospital and is doing okay. She has left rotator cuff injury, so her left arm gets numb on and off. She also has a lot of scrapes and bruises. Thankfully, though, she is alive. They didn't say if she had a concussion or not, but she remembers things fine. I think it is the pain medicine that makes her loopy, not the accident. I know that it makes her tired, but that's a good thing because her body needs rest.

The last she told me, she goes faster than the nurses expect her to go. She wants to be able to move again.

I told her that she is going to have to stay at our house (she can take her dogs into the front yard, but that's it) once the sun has set and she is only out either with me or at a place where I or somebody else is going to pick her up if it is dark.

I've had a person act like she knows all about my life and everything that has gone on it. She acts like she knows what it is like because she took care of her mentally ill mother. Her life is nowhere near the same as mine. She acts like it is, though. She lives in California. I live in Louisiana. Louisiana doesn't have tons of resources like other states. Either they tell you that they'll take the person away and put them in special living, or that they don't qualify for things. They don't provide exactly what is needed. Adult protective services has come to our house many times and that is because somebody keeps reporting Briana and it is none of their business. I'd love the house to be cleaner, but I don't have the money for a housekeeper and Adult Protective Services won't provide one, so how can I have one?
Most people are being very great and helpful. Thank you, it does mean a lot as this is quite stressful. It can be difficult taking care of Briana, but she is also a huge help around the house and I do miss her even if there are times that she gets annoying and irritating. At least she was still telling me things like not to spoonerize "pork stew."

If you want to know some stuff I've dealt with in my life, read on . . .

`In Kindergarten, I was extremely sick - esophagusitis.
`In third grade, I had it again with tonsilitis from staph bacteria.
`By the time I was in fifth grade, people were teasing me horribly - for no good reason, they just were. They kept this going on through middle school, some through 12th grade. Some are still mean and do it up to today.
` in sixth grade, I was diagnosed with scoliosis (which thankfully, they caught it, but now I do have a weak back and the side effects of having scoliosis and wearing a brace for THREE YEARS).
` When I was in eighth grade, Briana had surgery for her scoliosis. I ended up taking care of her and doing her therapy with her more than my parents.
` In 10th grade, I had bacterial pneumonia and I'm pretty sure my doctor was stupid, only having me stay at home for two weeks. I think I should have probably been in the hospital. I don't feel like I ever regained all of my stamina or lung function.
` In the summer of 2002 is when my Daddy had his left leg amputated under the knee because of a horribly bad infection and Charcot's foot. He blamed it all from a blood blister that he claimed he got from stepping on a toy - but I really doubt that. He never took care of his feet as well as he said he did.
` About a year later, he had to wear a boot on his right foot because of Charcot's foot. My Daddy, despite my weak back, would make me take his wheelchair in and out of the van and push him around in grocery stores and such places. He would also make me take on the trash on Thursday mornings (do everything), and not let me get it done on Wednesday nights!
` I tried to get a job at McDonald's the first time I was in college. They were not supposed to have me do janitorial work and were supposed to train me. They had me train on janitorial work the first day that I got there. The next two times, they never trained me and made me do janitorial work! By the fourth time I was supposed to be there, I was so sore and in such pain that I could barely move. My Mama had to go with me in order for me to just be able to move. They had never trained me to do anything else and instead of having me sit and learn anything, they just fired me on the spot. Then they even had the nerve to call me at 5am on day and say I needed to open the place, and then go "Oops, wrong Bridget."
` My Daddy passed away in April 2008. I was extremely depressed (when somebody close to me dies, I am usually extremely depressed for four to six months).
` My Mama was on those stupid antidepressants starting when I was in second grade. She would come out of her therapists office and just tell me that she told the therapist everything was fine rather than actually talking! The therapist at first had her on BOTH Wellbutrin and Paxil. Later, it was just a Paxil. That doctor retired and she never got a real therapist/doctor again and her GP (the family doctor, who I will NEVER go to again - honestly do NOT got to Dr. Arthur Primeaux!) would just adjust her Paxil however she wanted it to be.
` I had to deal with my Mama getting worse and worse. The neuropsychiatrist she went to lied. He kept saying that she was fine, that she had something like Asperger's that wouldn't get any worse. It was all a lie because she kept getting worse and they wouldn't wean her off of those antidepressants. She became convinced that I was trying to kick her out of the house which isn't true at all (I told her to go have fun one day so Briana and I could work on cleaning). She would keep falling and hitting her head even though we told her to fall on her butt, her arms, or her legs, because you can heal a broken limb. She would look all beat up. All I would do was help her, but I later found out that somebody reported me for elderly abuse!!! I was never told this at first! Oh, yeah, and things were bad because even earlier when she was "okay," she would drink and water would come out of her nose I told her that it wasn't normal and she REALLY needed to see a doctor about that, but she wouldn't listen to me. I couldn't force her and her GP would not listen to me at all. He flat out refused to listen to my concerns about her.
` I had to deal with stupid nurses constantly calling me about my Mama. She was insistent that she didn't want a PEG tube and while it was hard for me, I wanted to honor her wishes. I was also worried she pull out a PEG tube since she had a history of pulling out tubes. I urged her to get an NG tube like I had when I was little because of the esophagusitis, but she even refused that, no matter how much I urged her to do that.
` My Mama passed away in September 2012.
` My grandpa also passed away in September 2012 and I had NO IDEA that he did other than a Facebook friend telling me about his obituary in the newspaper! His girlfriend's caretaker was a HUGE liar and said she couldn't find our telephone numbers (the home one is easy to find online) and then she tried to make us feel guilty saying that we never came to visit him which is a bunch of bull because we would come and he would always say not to come into the house! My grandpa hid how terrible is health was from us! He kept saying it was his girlfriend who was in such bad health! Briana and I got NOTHING . . . not even the flag from his service in WWII. He basically completely disowned us. His girlfriend was rude about it, too. He signed everything (which, I guess he didn't have much, but still) over to her. She wouldn't even let Briana look for what he always called "the green can" that he would tell us to find if anything happened to him.
` I was falsely arrested AT MY OWN HOUSE for stalking somebody that I NEVER stalked. The sheriff didn't have evidence and even knew what was truly happening because the sheriff said not to call him, so the sheriff was corrupt and acting on the other person's word. They said that he is the one that signed that I was stalking him, but I never got to see the signature (of course). If I had, I would've been able to tell because we used to be friends.
` Life is better again, in general. Briana and I help each other with things. We often do chores together. We'll take turns so each of us can rest our backs. We do things how they work for us and we often wish they would work out better, too. I am doing my schooling so hopefully I can get a good job where I can afford a housekeeper - at least one that comes once a week to wash dishes, clean the bathroom, empty the trash cans (and not one like the gal that insisted she was our house keeper, kept asking Briana for more money, made my life MORE stressful by telling me that I needed to buy tons of stuff for her to make the house look how she wanted it; and I think she stole stuff, too . . . there are a few things I've never found again that seem like they should've still been here).

My tweets May. 18th, 2016 @ 12:00 pm

My tweets May. 13th, 2016 @ 03:04 pm

My tweets May. 10th, 2016 @ 12:00 pm

My tweets May. 8th, 2016 @ 10:38 pm

Screen Reader May. 8th, 2016 @ 04:38 pm
My screen reader is strange. It says
"appendicitis" as "ap-pen-dish-ih-tus," via as "vie-er," Les Miserables as "lez miser ables," and blogger as "blojjer."

My tweets Apr. 29th, 2016 @ 12:09 am
Other entries
» Grad school . . .
My first semester of grad school is almost over. It's hard to believe that is how it is. I have to proofread one paper and then finish another and the semester is done on April 30.

I start my next semester on May 9. Yes, that's the summer semester. I'm taking a class called "special topics in theatre" and I found out that the special topic this time is American Musical.

I'm sure that will be interesting. Two books about musicals were required and then two DVDs of musicals. I know that one was the current "The Sound of Music" that Carrie Underwood (is that the right country singer?) did.

And the other is . . . I can't remember it. I'm going to go look . . .Oh, yeah, Memphis. It says it is the original Broadway production. I don't know anything about that musical.

I've been thinking about all different things I could propose for a job. I'm not being lazy with that at all. I just need to keep thinking and then start doing once I have more ideas.

It is only a couple of weeks now until the dog trainer I hired is scheduled to come to the house, so I told Briana she really needs to keep cleaning up after her dogs.

My poor backyard gate and needing to block the part where the dogs can get out by going under the house . . . it makes it so much nicer when they can go outside by themselves and we don't have to take them out.

The problem is that her dogs would use the bathroom inside, anyway.
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  • Fri, 23:48: Help! The llamas are gathering! The llamas are gathering!! it's the alpacalypse!!!

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  • Wed, 01:05: Anybody got any puns that involve food and literature/theatre?

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» Kinda responsible . . .
I've been figuring things out and I've figured out that it is okay if I take two years to completely my graduate degree. I've been trying to figure things out. So, I type all of this out and I really don't want to lose it.

(I think all of these have an online distance option at some point since they are required)

The 595
The 599
The 700 - Research and Aesthetics in Theatre
The 719 - Dramaturgy

Any two of these:

SSW 511 - Playwriting
The 627 - Makeup for the Stage and Screen
The 632 - Theories and Concepts in Acting
The 633 - Theories and Concepts in Directing
The 725 - Theatrical Design Process 1
The 726

Two more approved classes (I'm not sure if all of these are available for distance learning or not)

SSW 502 - Writing Tools
SSW 512 - Writing the Short Film
SSW 514 - Writing for Television
SSW 614 - Topics in Scriptwriting
The 651 - Theatre Promotion and Management
The 681 - Practicum: Production
The 711 - The Meisner Technique 2
The 722 - Advanced Directing for Stage 1
The 724 - Stage Management for Theatre
The 728 - Scene Study
The 729 - Advanced Scene Study
The 775 - Special Topics in Theatre

What if? (Need a total of 30 credits)
Spring 2016 - 3, Total 9
Then I do part time?
Summer 2016 - 1, Total 12
Fall 2016 - 2, Total 18
Spring 2017 - 2, Total 24
Summer 2017 - 1, Total 27
Fall 2017 - 2, Total 33

or full time during the summer?
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  • Mon, 21:25: The subway on Ryan downtown Ryan is AWFUL with service dog laws. We got to stay this time, but they have kicked us out before.

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» Writing survey . . .
For this, WOW=Work of Writing (whatever you choose) Answer as many or as few as you want. I choose "Yet Another Shakespeare Rewrite" or "The Winter's Tale for a Modern Day Audience"

1: What inspired you to write the WOW this way?

It was already a play format when given the assignment and I wanted to make it the whole play and keep it as a play.

2: What scene did you first put down?

Act III because that was the scene I first wrote for the sock puppet version, but they all went through revisions.

3: What's your favorite line of dialogue?

"He doesn't know the difference between a Big Mac and a Maserati" is one of my favorites. That just came to me one day and I knew I had to include it in the play.

5: What part was hardest to write?

Perdita's speech about the natural and genetically engineered flowers.

6: What makes this WOW special or different from all your other WOWs?

It was based on Shakepseare's play and it was performed for two nights on a stage as well as me still figuring out exactly what I am going to do with it.

7: Where did the title come from?

Being there are so many shakespeare rewrites, I thought it was funny to call it "Yet Another shakespeare Rewrite" because "The Winter's Tale" doesn't have rewrites. Yet, almost all of the other plays have some type of rewrite as a play, a novel, or a movie.

8: Did any real people or events inspire any part of it?


9: Were there any alternate versions of this WOW?

I started the rewrite by keeping all of Shakespeare's characters' name and the locations the same. I made sure to make things more modern little by little.

10: What do you like best about this WOW?

I can't really choose a best thing.

12: What do you like least about this WOW?

I can't really choose a thing I like the least, either.

13: What music did you listen to, if any, to get in the mood for writing this story? Or if you didn't listen to anything, what do you think readers should listen to to accompany us while reading?

I listened to a lot of the music I used for scene changes and the Josh Woodward music that I used for preshow and intermission music, but that was while working on things for the play and while writing it.

14: Is there anything you wanted readers/aidoemce to learn from reading/seeing this WOW?

Whatever they can learn from it.

15: What did you learn from writing this WOW?

Sometimes inspiration can come from the strangest places. Other times, a lot of help is needed in order to find inspiration.
» KCACTF - Region 6
Last year, both Briana and I went to KCACTF for Region 6. I can't afford to bring her along in any way this year, so I am going with McNeese Theatre (I know that I'm going, I'm just not sure how McNeese can decide who is and who isn't going, but that's nothing of my concern). Radar is coming with me and Briana will stay home. I will make sure that people know she is at home and that they help to look after her for the six days that we are gone.

I know it is only six days, but this is Briana and that could get a little dangerous in some ways. I'll leave her with some money so she can definitely get a good meal each day. She won't have it until the day before we leave.

Anyway, I did write last year that I saw a six plays. They were Woyzeck, Machinal, Delta-V, Bengal Tiger at the Baghdad Zoo, In & Between, and Marcus or the Secret of Sweet.

I realized that I hadn't recorded the plays that I saw back then.
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» Splitting Dimensions?
Oh, yeah, I managed to write down enough in my dark room to be able to say that last night I had this really strange dream.

I was watching PBS with Briana Lyn Delaney (okay, that's not the strange part - that can really happen) and this show came on where a fairly large group of people was in a bathroom and they were sitting all over, especially over a stall door and they were supposedly naked and rubbing each other. On the mirror, in a stylized writing, kind of like the "Cheers" logo, but not quite and in circular formation with the top bending down and the bottom bending up, but going around in the circle, it said "Fish Tank" and then this little squeaky singing of "Fish Tank, Fish Tank" was heard over and over.

Briana asked what it was and I told her that I think it is one of those weird British sketch comedy shows and that I didn't think I liked it, but I wanted to watch the first sketch to see how I liked this one for certain. She left.

The first sketch started and this guy was in what was like a classroom, and at the back of the classroom there was this "booth" I guess kind of like a jury box and this girl walked into the back door and she is angry. The guy inside isn't a teacher, but a store clerk and the girl claims that she is going to sue him if he can't find the hamster. The girl goes into the booth/box thing at the back of the room. We only see the girl and she says, "Now you are splitting dimensions" and then the scene cuts to a picture of the guy sitting on a clock on the wall and a smaller wooden desk (more like a "home desk" or "office desk" but small for a student in a classroom) where he is also sitting, but he is almost flat as he sits on those surfaces. The scene cuts back to the girl who is then sitting on the door of this booth/box, but she stands up inside of it and opens a door on the front and comes out of the area. Then she sits in a chair at one of the desks. The clerk is only in a chair at one of the desks, but the girl says "You're doing it again" and then we see a doll, well, two dolls, but it supposed "the same" doll that is sitting on two separate desks. . . .

and then my writing is WAAAY too messy . . . and I don't really remember much of the dream after that, either. Maybe that's when I woke up.
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